Accountability: March 2020

Image by Nattanan Kanchanaprat from Pixabay

Well, that title has a whole new layer of meaning now. TBH, I have very little memory now how I spent the first two weeks of March. Working mostly, as the Bronze Girl script was supposed to be turned on March 25th and we were only on draft one. That and a lot of other deadlines, as well. As usual.

Exactly one month ago, on Monday, March 16th I went to work and then I went home, to self isolation. A friend had asked for help on Sunday evening before and I went. Since we had not seen each other for some time, we hugged, without thinking twice about it. I have thought about that evening a lot lately, wondering if we – if people in general – will ever do that again as easily.

The official, corona induced, lockdown in Croatia was a week away, and my biggest client, at whose office I spend a lot of time, decided that morning that work from home was the direction to go. I was really looking forward to a few days alone at that office. And then my friend messaged that she was really, really sorry but her co-worker’s son had tested positive. So none of the lovely office solitude.

Took me 3 working days to set up work at home, and a LOT of frustration. That was also the first Monday of elementary school shutdown in Croatia and homeschooling on top of a move and a husband also working from home was a nightmare. I had just transferred my child to a special school, ending the 3-year spree of doing school work every day with him that was driving me nuts. Now, that particular pleasure was back, with a national TV school broadcast in no way adjusted to kids with different needs. And a slew of written materials and assignments from the very nice teacher, but did I mention the severe dyslexia? I did not find it funny.

I remember spending that Friday crying, for the most part, because there was no pool and no sauna to work my frustration in. That first weekend, on Saturday night, the public transport in Zagreb was stopped and the start of a tighter, more strict lockdown. That Sunday, March 22nd brought the shakes, as in – a 5.4 earthquake shook me awake at 6:24 am and a few (hundred) more followed over the last month. The snow that started falling around 7 AM that morning, while half the people were still not being very socially distant in between buildings, wondering if that was the big one we had been waiting for 140 years or there was more to come, just added to the surreal.

I think I may have relaxed about it a bit now: I no longer repack my go-bag every night. But I still sleep in pajamas, a thing I never do unless in hospital or sharing a hotel room. Work helped, a lot. As did work colleagues, chatting and being witty and lovely. I don’t remember any tasks I did, but I know that is how I filled the biggest chunk of my waking hours. I did nothing much I was managing myself, obviously, because I was in no shape to. The end of the month and the school spring break came around just in time to prevent me from losing it completely.

I did not go out for the 14 days I was not supposed to. I was responsible, even if I cannot, even now, get myself to take a look at my accountability levels for March. This will just have to do.



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